"And Suddenly Everything Felt So Meaningless": Hämatom Guitarist Jacek Żyła on the Band's Return to Ukraine

By Kathrin Franziska Beck

German metal band Hämatom, formed in 2004 in the Upper Franconian town of Speichersdorf, are set to return to Ukraine for this year's Faine Misto Festival. The band last performed in Lviv and Kyiv in late November 2025. Ahead of their return, Jacek Żyła spoke about performing in a country at war and what has drawn the band back.

Beck: What was your first trip to Ukraine like?

Żyła: We travelled to Ukraine at the end of November last year for a four- or five-day trip, first to Lviv and then to Kyiv, where we played a show in each city. At that time, Lviv felt relatively calm, partly because of its proximity to the Polish border, although Lviv has also come under attack.

Kyiv was a completely different experience. It wasn't frightening for us personally but witnessing how people live through war and still manage to carry on with their daily lives was deeply affecting. The night we performed in Kyiv has stayed with all of us. At the time, I thought it had affected me less than the others, but looking back, I realise it left a lasting mark. Whenever I hear a siren now, whether it's on New Year's Eve or a police car or fire engine passing by, it triggers something in me. I flinch, and those images from Kyiv immediately come flooding back.

Beck: Could you describe that night?

Żyła: That night, as far as I remember, we experienced the heaviest attack on Kyiv up to that point. At least two people were killed and many more were injured. The attack continued in waves into the early hours of the morning, lasting until around 8 a.m. It was intense.

Beck: How did you feel after the shows in Ukraine?

Żyła: We had another show in Kraków two days after our concert in Kyiv. I remember waking up in the hotel that morning before the show, looking out of the window, and suddenly everything felt so meaningless.

It was a very strange feeling, almost like a depressive state, because I was thinking: “Everything here is normal, life just carries on. And only 250 or 300 kilometres away, people are dying.” You feel as though there is nothing more you can do; or at least far less than when you are there. It was a very strange day, and we all felt it. Everyone was carrying that feeling with them. All I wanted to do was get back in the van, drive straight back to Ukraine and do whatever I could to help.

Beck: How did things continue once you were back home?

Żyła: I remember barely sleeping for the first few nights. I stood outside in my garage, smoking, and thought: "This cannot really have happened." It was difficult to start appreciating what you have again; or rather, to enjoy it and feel grateful for it. That wasn't easy at all.

Despite everything, I still feel that, although it may not be the right word, it was the most beautiful, or perhaps the most important, experience we have shared as a band. Alongside the dignified farewell we gave our bassist when we buried him, this is one of the two things I am especially proud of about this band.

Beck: You've also received negative comments on social media because of your stance. How do you deal with that?

Żyła: To be honest, that criticism has never really bothered me because, for me, there is no grey area when it comes to this war. But when it comes to Ukraine, it is black and white for me. There is an aggressor, and that is Putin. There is a country attacking another country, and that is Russia. And there is one person in this world who could end this war within a second, and that is Putin.

So the criticism of our support honestly doesn't affect me at all. What I do find striking is the language some people use when they insult us and wish the worst on us: "Why don't you go straight to the front?" Or: "You should be locked up in camps." Seeing and reading the things some people come out with is genuinely disturbing.

Beck: Perhaps it’s also a symptom of the growing coarseness in society, regardless of the issue.

Żyła: Exactly. It really doesn’t matter what you do, you will always encounter that kind of reaction. What I find even more absurd is the claim that music should be apolitical. Music has always been political; some of the earliest songs we know were directed against those in power. Comments like that usually come from people who simply do not want to be confronted with political messages at a concert. These days, I just ignore them.

Beck: What role can music play in times of war and social crisis?

Żyła: I may hold the somewhat naïve belief that music can change things. More importantly, though, I believe it can offer comfort and provide a momentary escape. That is exactly what the people who attended our concerts told us while we were there. Hearing that the music had given them something meaningful in such difficult circumstances was a deeply moving experience for all of us.

Beck: there a particular encounter that moved you?

Żyła: Rather than singling out one person, I would point to one group: the women. They left the strongest impression on me. You see women everywhere because so many men are either serving on the front line, have been killed or are missing. That is the first thing you notice. They are incredibly resilient, getting on with everyday life and keeping everything running despite the circumstances.

For example, our interpreter Anastasia told us that her husband has been serving in a special forces unit on the front line for the past three years. She never knows when he will come home. Every few months he appears unexpectedly, but when he does, he is so psychologically exhausted that he struggles to see his children because the emotional toll is simply too great.

Beck: Looking ahead to the Faine Misto festival, was it immediately clear to you that you wanted to come back?

Żyła: Absolutely. To be honest, we would have returned to Ukraine much sooner. We were even offered the chance to add two Ukrainian dates to our autumn tour, Gagamania. But we felt it was important to have a short break after our last visit.

Beck: What do you hope to give the people of Ukraine through your concert?

Żyła: We want to show people that they are not alone. Even though support has declined in parts of Western Europe, there are still many people who recognise how profoundly unjust this war is.

We also want to raise awareness. Time and again, we meet people who are sceptical. To them, the war is primarily something that harms the economy or causes another refugee crisis.

It means a great deal to us when people tell us that the trip changed the way they see the war and made them rethink their views on Ukraine. Many people are deeply sceptical of the media today. But when they say, "We trust you because you were there yourselves and saw what was happening with your own eyes," that makes a difference.

And we want to give people an enjoyable evening. From our perspective, that may seem like a small thing, but I believe it can mean a great deal to them.

Beck: Are all the preparations in place for the trip?

Żyła: Not yet; we have simply had a lot going on. I am really looking forward to it. We’ll start by playing at Wacken, which couldn’t be a greater contrast. For the first time, we’ll be headlining the festival, performing in front of around 80,000 people. Then, the very next day, we’ll fly to Warsaw and travel on to Lviv, where we’ll be performing in a city at war.

It’s going to be an intense weekend. In a way, the hardest part is often coming home afterwards and thinking, "Goodness me, where have I actually been over the past few days?" The contrast between those two worlds is hard to process.

---

Kathrin Beck is Professor of Youth and Social Work in Schools in the Crisis Prevention Team at the Catholic Foundation University in Munich, Germany. She can be contacted at kathrin.beck@ksh-m.de.